General tips for sex workers

Basics

Decide for yourself what you will and will not do with customers. Discuss the price with the client in advance and what you will do for that price. Ask for payment in advance. Pay attention to your intuition. Reject questionable customers. You have the right to quit at any time if you don’t think something is OK. As much as is possible, choose safe environments for your work. For example, work in a hotel, inform friends, have their contact numbers ready and make sure someone has your name and phone number. Try to stay clear as much as possible while working.

Clients

First impressions are important—not only towards the client but also of the client. Be pleasant but be aware of your intuition. Listen to it and reject clients if you don’t trust them. Always be respectful towards the customer.

Encourage your customer to shower first if you can. This way, you have the chance to check the client for skin issues and visible STIs. It also means your client is as clean as possible. Every customer is different. Take the time to find out what makes your client horny. Try different techniques, pay attention to reactions and ask about preferences. Discretion is very important in sex work. Handle all your clients’ personal information confidentially. Inquire about dangerous clients.

Money

Decide for yourself in advance what you will do and what you will charge for it. Be clear about it with your client before you begin your work. Ask for payment upfront and stick to your own price. If a client wants more, more money should be paid. For example, overnights, pee sex or S&M. No money, no sex.

When you are young and new to the business, you may be very successful. That can change with time, so prepare for that. For instance, put money aside for difficult times. Think of alternative ways to make money if you decide to quit sex work.

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Safety tips

These tips are useful for all sex workers, but specifically for escort work, as this will relate more to individual work.

Before

When you go on an escort date, bring only the necessary items and papers (such as a valid ID proof) and make sure they are always close at hand. Always inform someone you know about your date. Give that person information about the client, and where and when you have an appointment. Agree what to do if that person does not hear back from you.

If you work behind the window, there are alarm buttons in the brothel room. If you feel unsafe, you can press these. An alarm will then go off and help will arrive.

In a private house and/or club, you are surrounded by fellow sex workers and a host.

Negotiations

Be wary of dangers and questionable clients. You can reject any client you don’t feel comfortable with, regardless of your workplace. Do not negotiate or start a date when you are drunk or high on substances as it leaves you vulnerable and client may take advantage of this. As an escort, you decide where you work. It can be helpful to choose a location where you are familiar.

During the date

Avoid engaging in sexual acts in public places. This is prohibited in the Netherlands.

When you arrive at the agreed location, instead of ringing the doorbell, call your customer on the phone. This is to avoid fake clients seeking to play a prank on someone—which may later affect you.

Maintain connection with your customer through eye contact and body position. This way, you will notice what turns the customer on and you will be better able to control the situation.

Always be alert for quick and safe ways out in case of emergencies. If you don’t like something, stop immediately.

In the event of danger

Everyone reacts differently in a threatening or dangerous situation. There are three instinctive reactions: flee, fight or freeze. It can be good to know which one is your natural reaction—if you need help discovering which is yours, our empowerment training can help you discover it.

Tips: Do not be afraid to shout out for help if you are in danger. To secure your own bodily safety, do not fight them if they demand for your money or belongings. If you bring an object to an escort date for your own safety, remember that it can also be used against you. When you are threatened, do not provoke violence.

You can always call 112 for help.

Internet

Always be honest about your service, age, photos and other information. Do not spread information that is not true. Commercial escort pages cost money but can be more reliable and help you project a more professional offer. If you have a website, make sure it is well-organised. Avoid redundant information and describe your offer in a clear way.

Beware of customers who only want to chat online but are not interested in an appointment (fakers). Beware when customers ask for too much information. Reliable customers are quick to state clearly what they need and arrange for an appointment. Always have the client call you before the date is confirmed. This way you are able to get a first impression and avoid fakers. Try to meet your client in a public place first to see if you can trust the situation.

For sex workers

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